We all know those little computer symbols called "emoticons," where: :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by :-) :-(
Well, how about some "ASSICONS?" Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been e-mooned! Send this to 5 people within the nexthour and you will be blessed with people laughing their ass off (_ :-)